Well it comes around each year, but for
the last four years I haven't looked forward to it.
Mother's Day has become a bittersweet holiday.
Don't get me wrong, I know how important it is to show appreciation and gratitude for the special people in your life. But now I just feel awkward and out-of-place on Mother's Day. I'm not a mother and my Mother is gone.
So walking through Costco yesterday grocery shopping was a little more than painful watching people buy flowers when I remembered the last time I gave my mom flowers, they were lying on a grave.
There are a few times specifically throughout the year that I miss my mom like crazy, and Mother's Day is one of them. I would do anything to drive to Alton and make her breakfast in bed (even though I'm a terrible cook.) I would give anything to call and chat with her for an hour to hear her talk about her church calling and how fast her garden is growing.
But as I was sitting feeling sorry for myself, I had the thought that Mother's Day is only painful for me because of how GREAT my mom was. I miss her so much because she understood me and I could talk to her about anything. She was the perfect example of how to LIVE the gospel because it was everything to her. She showed me how to have a strong family because she was strong. It didn't matter how tired she got, she was always on the front row at my basketball games yelling her guts out. She showed me how to love people because she put everyone's needs before her own. Me and my siblings knew she loved us because she took a picture of every moment in our lives - She was there for EVERYTHING. She taught me how to be proud and supportive because she couldn't wait to tell our neighbors and relatives when I achieved even the smallest thing in my life.
I think of all the billions of people on this planet and how many of them can say they have a mom like that? I'm sure there are a lot of people that are sad on Mother's Day, but it may be because they never knew their mom. Or maybe their mom abandoned them. Or maybe they had a neglectful or abusive mom. Or maybe those people will never get to be a mom because they can't have kids.
As I started thinking of why I struggle on Mother's Day, it made me realize that I have the greatest reason to celebrate Mother's Day of all. I miss my mom because she made the biggest impact on my life by loving me.
That is why I will celebrate Mother's Day.